


The Artful Haunt

by rixsig-writes (rixsig)



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, haunted house au inspired by the ghost valky cards, kaoru's self preservation gets trampled by the ooo pretty reflex and thats valid, the rest of undead have cameos too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 05:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19805497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rixsig/pseuds/rixsig-writes
Summary: Kaoru discovers his house is haunted and isn't nearly as scared about it as he should be.





	The Artful Haunt

**Author's Note:**

> me, making my life harder by choosing to write an au instead of a canonverse fic when i have a deadline: parkour

[bark bark bark]: that house is creepy as FUCK you better text one of us tomorrow or we’re gonna assume your ass is dead

[Kaoru♡]: awww wanko-chan~ 

[bark bark bark]: shaddup 

[bark bark bark]: i just don’t want that vampire bastard to get any more useless than he already is

[bark bark bark]: so don’t die

[Kaoru♡]: haha what, it’s a bit of a fixer-upper but it’s not that bad

[bark bark bark]: that shit’s haunted and you know it

It was, Kaoru admits, way cheaper than it should have been to get this place, even for its state of disrepair. It’s old and worn, but solid and everything  _ works _ . Plumbing, electricity, everything. And it’s not even that far a walk to the train. He really lucked out. 

Well, except for the draftiness. But that’s fine, Kaoru can wear socks. 

[Kaoru♡]: hey if it’s haunted do you think the ghosts will be cute

[bark bark bark]: oh my fucking god

[Kaoru♡]: a ghost girlfriend…

[bark bark bark]: stop

Kaoru looks over to the kitchen table where an antique porcelain doll sits, bedecked in some elaborate, frilly dress with her hands resting perfectly in her lap. He’d discovered her up in the attic in a glass display case that looked like it hadn’t been touched in decades, and next to it had sat a giant wooden chest chock full of more outfits with the word ‘Mademoiselle’ neatly etched into the lid. 

“You haven’t seen any pretty ghosts around, have you Mademoiselle-chan?” he asks her, waiting a beat. “No? Well that’s okay. Don’t worry, you’re beautiful enough to light the whole house up all by yourself~”

Turning back to his phone he almost thinks he hears a quiet, muffled giggle, but he waves it off as wishful thinking. 

[Kaoru♡]: i asked the doll and there’s no ghosts :(

[bark bark bark]: the WHAT?!!!

[Kaoru♡]: yeah the doll i found in the attic 

-attch mademoiselle-chan.png-

[bark bark bark]: THERES NO WAY THATS NOT HAUNTED

[bark bark bark]: HER EYES ARE GLINTING

[bark bark bark]: GET OUT OF THAT HOUSE

[Kaoru♡]: and go back home? no thanks~ 

* * *

Kaoru doesn’t want to admit it, but he might be a little nervous after all that howling about his new house looking like a horror movie set. He starts staring harder at shadows in the corner of the room, jumping at unexpected noises. But y’know what? It’s an old, creaky western-style house. That’s got to be normal, right?

He takes to carrying Mademoiselle around with him though just in case. She’s a pretty good conversational partner.

“Hey, I bet you’re tired of wearing the same old thing, aren’t you? You have a whole wardrobe up there…don’t you miss it? How about we go pick you something out?”

Her eyes catch the light and seem to sparkle, and Kaoru takes that as a yes. It’s the work of a moment to bring the chest down from the attic—he only stubs his toe once and sneezes twice from the layers of dust on it—and then he lifts the lid, shifting aside layers of paper. “Wow...what a collection. I wonder if all these are custom-made…?”

He gently extracts one of the many dresses, layers upon layers of richly textured fabric adorned with tiny brass buttons. It seems unreal for a garment this small to have this much detail. He doesn’t know much about doll clothes, but he’d bet this is one of a kind. 

He holds it up to her and smiles, picturing what she’d look like in it. “The most beautiful dress in the world for the most beautiful lady~♪”

The hair suddenly prickles at the back of Kaoru’s neck, and he whips to looks behind him. Weird...for a second it felt like someone had been standing there. He shakes his head and turns back to Mademoiselle. “Now let’s see...how do I get this old one off? Ah, this button here...Sorry Mademoiselle-chan, it might be embarrassing for me to do this, but there isn’t a girl around to—OW!”

Kaoru yanks his hand away and stuffs his fingertip in his mouth. “Tha’ huuurd,” he whines around it. That was a  _ strong _ static shock, ow ow ow. His finger slides out of his mouth and he examines it. A splotch of angry pink. Is...Is that normal?! Well, whatever. He probably just built up a charge with his socks on all of these fancy-looking rugs. 

“Okay okay, let’s try this again~”

He reaches out a second time, but the instant he touches her another sharp shock has him yelping. Come on, twice?! Shouldn’t he have discharged all that static already? “Mademoiselle-chan, be nice to me,” he pleads, only half-joking. “Is it the dress? I could grab a different one.”

He tries to open the chest to see if anything else catches his eye, but the lid sticks. He puts more force into it, yanking up with a grunt, but nothing happens. “Ahaha...looks like it’s stuck.” He rubs at his neck. He feels like he’s being watched. And not just by Mademoiselle. 

He tries to undo that button one last, nervous time, gets another shock for his trouble, and finally gives up. His shoulders slump and he lets himself lean back into the wall from where he’s criss-cross on the carpet, head tipping until he’s staring up at the ceiling with a woebegone sigh. “Don’t girls like to play dress-up? I guess no boys allowed, huh…”

He hears a familiar giggle and then some words he can’t quite make out. Something like: ‘how sudden, housepet’ or ‘mouse kendo to be set’ or maybe... ‘now Shu-kun, don’t be upset.’

* * *

The next morning he panics because he can’t find the dress he’d taken out of the chest the night before—he nearly tears the whole house up trying to find it—but the lid of that chest opens instantly the moment he tries, and there the dress sits, laying right at the top under its protective paper, right in its proper place.

He tries not to think about it.

* * *

Kaoru stares at the empty plate. A few empty crumbs stand out from the white, taunting him. He gets out his phone.

[Kaoru♡]: haha um do you know if ghosts eat croissants??

[Rei]: Kaoru-kun, 

[Kaoru♡]: because i keep buying them and they keep disappearing

[Rei]: I wasn’t aware you were so fond of them to ‘keep buying them’

[Kaoru]♡: a girl gave me one from a cafe she likes

[Kaoru♡]: i left it on the counter to eat for breakfast in the morning but when i woke up it was gone!!

[Kaoru♡]: i thought i’d just buy the same kind but

[Kaoru♡]: she just texted me again asking what i thought about it!!!!!! i don’t want to say i never ate it….

[Rei]: Kaoru-kun. Maybe try eating one at the cafe?

[Kaoru♡]: oh

* * *

No other food ever disappears. Not even any other pastries he brings back. After the incident with the girl is resolved—she was very thrilled he liked it—Kaoru brings back two slices of cake, one for himself and one for....whoever. But it sits there on the kitchen counter exactly where he left it, untouched for days.

The next week he tries bringing back another croissant. Not even an hour later it’s gone.

* * *

The scene he’s confronted with when he opens his bedroom door has his phone in his hand instantly.

[Kaoru♡]: i’m not a slob

[Kaoru♡]: i’d make a very good house husband, you know~?

[Kaoru♡]: so why do i keep coming back to everything thrown around my bedroom?????

Kaoru peels a shirt off of a lampshade, a sock off of the blinds. It looks like a particularly aimless tornado has ripped through here. Totally different from all the other ghostly phenomena going on, he could almost believe there’s more than one ghost around. 

[Kaoru♡]: and!!

[Kaoru♡]: and!!!!

[Kaoru♡]: the house is colder than it used to be!

[Kaoru♡]: the weather’s warming UP i shouldn’t have to be breaking the blankets out now T_T

[Worker Bee]: g

[Kaoru♡]: this really isn’t fair

[Kaoru♡]: what did i ever do?

[Kaoru♡]: is it because i stopped bringing croissants back??

[Kaoru♡]: i wouldn’t mind buying croissants for a cute ghost but i always end up falling asleep when i try to keep a lookout over the kitchen :(

[Worker Bee]: Try bR

Kaoru waits a minute. Adonis is a little better with his phone these days, but he still struggles with the big-fingers small-keyboard problem. 

[Worker Bee]: Try bringing. Meat.

Kaoru sighs, picks up a candy wrapper from his floor. Huh. Candy wrapper. Did he ever bring any candy in here?

* * *

Kaoru goes ahead and leaves meat on the counter because he’s losing control of his life, and, uh, maybe the cafe was fresh out of croissants for the second day in a row when he popped in to check. He plops down in a chair, props his hand up, and diligently watches the plate. And waits, and waits, and waits.

That’s the first night he gets a nightmare.

It’s blurry and vague, a dark room overlaid in static. There’s no sound but his own breath echoing in that space, everything smothered in a claustrophobic hush, up until...drip, drip, drip, a wet, persistent noise slices through the silence in a way that sets Kaoru’s teeth on edge. A shadow stands in the corner, unmoving, head tipped down into obscurity. Through the gloom he can puzzle out expensive fabric, spider lilies, lacquered sandals, and pale skin. Kaoru’s eyes trace trails of dark liquid down those arms, watch droplets of it fall on a puddled floor. 

The moment he realizes it’s blood, he wakes up.

Kaoru jolts awake with his heart hammering against his ribs and peels his cheek off of the kitchen counter. As he rubs the feeling back into it his eyes dart around. Nothing. And...his eyes find the plate. Nothing. The meat is still there. But, oh ew, it looks like it’s been out for  _ days _ .

“Hey,” Kaoru whines at nothing, “you didn’t have to go that far.”

* * *

He keeps getting the nightmares, usually a couple times a week. They’re super eerie and unsettling and Kaoru would probably be frightened of them if, y’know, the ghost wasn’t so pretty.

[Kaoru♡]: you’re into spooky stuff have you ever used a ouija board before?

[Rei]: Ahh, foolishly trying to contact the dead...how youthful.

[Kaoru♡]: you can just say you haven’t, you know 

Kaoru tips the contents of the box out onto the table. One board, one planchette, and one leaflet that has some scary flavor text on one side and a list of fun party games on the other. He slides the board in front of him and plunks the planchette down on top. 

[Rei]: Are you thinking of using one?

[Kaoru♡]: im going to right now

[Rei]: Oh? I might be further out of the loop than I thought, but aren’t you supposed to have more than one person there?

[Kaoru♡]: it’ll be fine~

[Rei]: Wanko and Adonis-kun were busy, weren’t they.

[Kaoru♡]: T_T

He puts his hands on the planchette. You’re supposed to start these things off somehow. Kaoru doesn’t know any rituals or anything, but if he’s just trying to talk to someone shouldn’t an introduction be just fine? “Hey there! My name is Kaoru Hakaze,” he tries. “I was born November 3rd! I’m a graduate from Yumenosaki Gakuen high school. And my blood type is B. That’s pretty much it. Haha.”

Then he tosses out a couple basic yes or no questions, things like ‘are you a good ghost?’ ‘can you turn the temperature back up a few degrees?’ and ‘do you really like croissants that much?’

No dice.

[Rei]: Alas, I’d be happy to join you if I weren’t abroad this week.

[Kaoru♡]: yeah yeah

[Kaoru♡]: maybe next time i’ll drag you into it and you’ll have better luck

[Kaoru♡]: he doesn’t seem to want to respond to me ;-;

[Rei]: He?

[Kaoru♡]: yeah it’s hard to tell, and I think he’s cross-dressing? but i think so

“Are you a guy?” he asks, waiting for the planchette to move. Still nothing.

[Rei]: So your plans have changed to getting yourself a ghost boyfriend instead?

[Kaoru♡]: Ahaha, well...maybe~

[Rei]: Sniff sniff

[Rei]: Seeing how much you’ve grown up since I first knew you is making this old man emotional....

Kaoru starts moving the planchette himself in lazy circles, bored. Although, is it just him or has the house actually returned to an almost normal temperature? “I just want to talk to you,” he cajoles. “That wouldn’t be so bad, right? I want to know more about you. Isn’t there an easier way? Can you tell me?”

Still no response. Kaoru sighs and lets the planchette rest, glancing over to where Mademoiselle sits in her own doll-sized chair nearby. He tugs at his collar. Maybe he isn’t used to normal temperatures anymore because it seems like it’s getting even warmer in here. “What do you think, Mademoiselle-chan? One more question before I pack it back up?”

Her ever-present smile prods him onward. A question, a question… Kaoru’s phone dings with another message, but he ignores it for now, lost in thought. Man, wouldn’t it be nice if ghosts could use cell phones? That would make this whole thing a lot easier. Not really expecting a reply at this point he rearranges his hands, leans in, and asks with a wink, “You got Kik?”

Three things happen at once. The temperature of the room spikes, giggling laughter resounds around the room, and the planchette is slapped out of his hand so hard it smacks against the wall and leaves a dent. 

“Yeowch!” Kaoru yelps, flailing back and nearly falling out of his chair. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“Not sorry enough,” comes a voice like an agitated caw. Mismatched eyes are the first things to appear, hovering in midair, and then the rest of the body snaps into shape like vapor suddenly going solid. “Whaddya want with my Oshi-san?!”

“Uh....”

This ghost has a similar outfit to the one Kaoru sees in his dreams, although he has a different flower decoration in his chaotic, feather-like hair. He perches impossibly on the top of a chairback and glowers at him, legs spread in a careless, masculine way that really ruins the effect of the kimono he’s wearing. Kaoru averts his eyes upwards, y’know, just in case something slips that one extra inch more.

“Hey, dontcha ignore me! I’m askin’ what ya want with Oshi-san!”

“Oshi-san…” Kaoru repeats hopefully. “Is that the one with the pink hair? You know him? Hey, what’s his name?”

“I’m not tellin’ you!”

“But I really want to know…!”

The temperature of the room ticks up another couple degrees. The ghost looks hugely upset by this. “See, cut it out, just leave us alone! You’re upsettin’ him!”

“W-Wait, he’s in here too?” Kaoru’s head whips around like he’ll suddenly pop into existence just like this first guy, but it looks like he’s still in hiding. “You don’t have to be shy, I promise~”

Suddenly the first ghost is up in his face, hands that shouldn’t feel nearly that solid fisting into Kaoru’s shirt and hauling him until they’re nose-to-nose. “Didn’t I tell ya to cut it out?” he murmurs darkly. 

Goosebumps erupt on Kaoru’s skin. For all that he’s been living in a bonafide haunted house the past few months this might be the first time he’s actually been terrified. “I-I…! I wasn’t trying to upset anyone! For real!” He puts his hands up disarmingly in the air, trying his best to remain cool and casual and calm even though his heart is pounding a mile a minute and he kind of wants to cry a little. 

“‘Now, now, Mika-kun.’” 

The ghost’s grip instantly goes slack.

“‘Don’t you think you should let the poor boy go? That’s a  _ very _ rude way to treat a guest.’”

“Mado-nee?!” the ghost yelps. “But, b-but—!”

“‘Shu-kun’s quite alright. Just a little embarrassed. There’s no need to worry  ♪’”

The ghost stares at Kaoru for a long, nerve-wracking moment, then huffs and lets him go. With another, sharper huff he crosses his arms and marches over to a corner to sulk, staring balefully at Kaoru from over there like an offended cat. 

Kaoru’s smack dab in the middle of a relieved sigh when the dots connect and he realizes where that voice came from. With a stiffly turning neck he pivots to face the doll where she lies as still in her chair as ever. “M...Mademoiselle-chan…?”

Her head tilts, eyes unblinking. “‘Hello, Kaoru-kun.’”

Kaoru squeaks.

She gets out of her chair, brushes off her skirts, and swishes her way over to him across the tabletop, her little shoes making soft tap-tap-tap sounds against the wood. “‘I had hoped to ease you into it gently, but well...it looks like that cat is out of the bag now, isn’t it? Fufu~’”

Kaoru opens his mouth, but nothing comes out.

“‘Oh! I suppose you already know me, but I should still introduce myself shouldn’t I?’” Her hands don’t have the articulation to hold her skirts properly, but she still manages to execute a perfect curtsy. “‘My name’s Mademoiselle. I’m Shu-kun’s doll. And I’ve had such fun the past few months!’”

Oh, she’s  _ cute _ . Kaoru’s suddenly willing to take the risk that she’ll murder him in his sleep. “Hey there, Mademoiselle-chan~”

She claps her hands together in delight. “‘Oh, I’m so happy! We can finally chat properly now.’” She skips forward and grasps onto his finger, like an excited victorian lady might grasp onto your hand with both of hers. “‘And don’t you worry about Shu-kun. Mika-kun’s just very protective of him, considering everything that’s happened. And Shu-kun just gets so flustered when you’re around—” 

“Shu-kun,” Kaoru says, failing to muffle a chuckle when the temperature spikes yet again. “So that’s his name, huh?”

“‘Oh, yes. I can tell you a bit more about him if you like? We’ve known each other for a very long time after all ♪’”

“I’d love that.”

* * *

Over the next week Kaoru chats with Mademoiselle and finds out a lot of very interesting things.

1) Shu hasn’t appeared, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he  _ can’t _ . Something about natural abilities and a bunch of ghost stuff he doesn’t have the background to understand, but at least he knows who tore up his room now. (Hint: it was Mika)

2) The house was so cheap because the combined forces of Shu and Mika have successfully scared off every other person who has ever tried to live here. In fact, Kaoru’s the first person to have tried in 20 years.

3) Shu is never far away from Mademoiselle. 100% never. And Kaoru has been carrying Mademoiselle around...pretty constantly at home. 

4) He really does love croissants that much.

* * *

“Hey, Shu-kun,” Kaoru says to thin air. “I was thinking...I know you haven’t done the nightmare thing in a while, but I kind of miss seeing you?”

The cool room suddenly feels very summery. 

“So I was wondering if maybe you could just. Go into my dreams? Without the nightmare part?”

Kaoru doesn’t expect any sort of verbal answer, or really any answer at all. He’s not sure what he’s expecting honestly, beyond a vague hope that he can at least have a proper conversation with him through dreams. 

What he’s  _ not _ expecting is the cool brush of air by his cheek. Or the rush of dizziness. Or the sensation of falling. 

He tips right over and passes out on the couch. 

When he regains awareness not too long later he’s in a dark room that’s instantly familiar. Old, rich wood, a space that echoes...but without the cast of a nightmare, without the grime and oppressive silence it’s almost nice. Kaoru’s eyes are instantly drawn to the corner, like they had been that first time, picking out the tall, still shape in the gloom. 

“Hey, what are you doing over there?” A thought occurs to him. “Have you...never tried not doing this as a nightmare before?”

Kaoru hears a small, embarrassed ‘hmph.’

God, Kaoru hasn’t even heard a real word from Shu yet, and his heart is already squeezing. Kaoru approaches, walking slowly, and when he’s close enough he reaches out and touches freezing skin with his own. Shu startles like he’s been pricked with a needle. Kaoru startles too. Wow, that’s cold. Like touching dry ice. “Ah sorry,” he apologizes right away. The second time he’s more prepared for the sensation, fingers curling around Shu’s hand. He tugs lightly. “Let’s get you out of the shadows, okay?”

Shu follows, and as they move to the middle of the room the lighting gets brighter somehow, the atmosphere gets warmer. Like this Kaoru can see every detail, the fluffiness of Shu’s hair, the delicate lines of his neck, the sharp gleam of his eyes and downward slant of his mouth, just the way Mademoiselle described him. Kaoru traces a finger along the white cloth of the kimono’s inner layer. “Um. Blood stains?” he says, with a small amount of humor. “So that thing about having to wear what you died in is true, huh?”

“Tch.” Shu’s head snaps to the side, a blush high on his cheeks. He moves like he’s going to cross his arms, but he gives up half-way through, remembering one of his hands is still caught up in Kaoru’s. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can wear whatever I please. But a good costume is key to an artful haunt.”

Kaoru can’t help but notice the care Shu takes to keep their hands together. Kaoru takes a breath and then laces their fingers, a matching blush spreading over his own cheeks. “Haha, I’ve never heard someone describe a haunting as artful before. You make it sound like its a performance.”

“And why shouldn’t it be? I refuse to spend my time on something that has no value.” Shu’s eyes tear themselves away from their joined hands and go back to Kaoru, curious. “...I’ve. I’ve gathered you’re a performer yourself.” 

“That’s right~ Maybe I can show you someday.”

Shu’s mouth tips down into a disappointed frown. “Ah. I won’t likely be able to attend any of your venues, leaving the house would be…”

“You could always watch me on the TV.”

Shu blinks. “What on earth is a Tee Vee?”

Kaoru laughs, draws Shu closer. “I’ll show you later. How about you show me something of yours instead?”

Shu considers this for a moment, something playful starting to glimmer in his eyes. “Are you familiar with the waltz?” Kaoru’s about to answer that he only sort of knows how that one works, but before he can get a word out Shu snaps his fingers and everything is transformed, the quiet room replaced by a sparkling ballroom, all done up in sumptuous reds and golds with a floor so lovingly shined they can see their reflections—and their new outfits—in it. “No matter,” Shu says with a frankly  _ unfair  _ smile, putting a hand around Kaoru’s waist as he starts to lead, “I’m sure you’re a quick study.”

In the morning Kaoru has to wonder if kissing a ghost feels the same outside of a dream as it does in one. 


End file.
